After reading Gibbs Defensiveness-producing communication behaviors, I learned that they are many ways to make a decsion and many factors that affect our decsion making skills. When I am faced with a really hard decision i tend to way the weight of the positives and negatives. In an argument I tend to do the same things. One argument i had was one with a really good friend of mine actually. I was upset that I had not seen her the whole summer and it was very frustrating. ONe of the six behaviors that I believe that i can realate to would be control/problem oriented because I was trying to control the friendship but was not viewing the busy work schedule of my friend.
After reading chapter eight I also learned that they are three steps that go into either confirming or disconfirming an argument. Those three steps include first recognition, which is basically respecting
the other persons point of view. The second is acknowledgement which is confirm with them my personal opinons and disagreement. The final one is endorsement which includes why I believe the things I do.
While reading through this chapter, I also discovered that many factors exist in affecting our decisions making skills. Honestly, it was a lot of information to take in. I, also, try to equally weigh the positives and negatives of a hard decision. In an argument, on the other hand, I tend to over weigh the opponent's negative points over his positive points simply because my emotions find a way to force me to disagree with him. This summer I ran into the exact same situation with a friend! I constantly whined to her about never getting to see her, and I felt as though she never made the same effort back. Thus, I simply assumed that she was not putting as much commitment into this friendship as I was so I got a little upset with her. At the end of the summer, however, I discovered that she had received a full time job and that's why she was always busy.
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