Post 3

The one concept that i feel like should have been more clarified was the listening process. Listening had so many elements listed in the book. You also posted an online link to a webpage we were supposed to read and respond to as well. Listening process had six steps. The first step of the listening process was being mindful. The second step of the listening process is physically receiving messages. The third step of the listening process is organizing material. The fourth step of the listening process is interpreting communication. The fifth and final step of the listening process is responding. The sixth and final step of the listening process is remembering. The one step that confused me the most is interpreting communication. I really enjoyed this class and felt as if the student blogs did a good job of clarifying some points that i was at times confused about.Overall i enjoyed this class.

Post 2

My favorite thing about this class was how simple it was to communicate with others. Using the online blog was an effective way to facilitate weekly chapter discussions and learn more about the weekly topics. Whether it was the discussion of relationships, or the discussion of family communication, it was simple to get points across. Sometimes it was hard to remember to post but I tried my hardest to make sure i posted every week. The papers that were assigned were outlined really well and made it simple to write the papers. Everything was very clear and with the easy online communication it made it simple to learn more. One thing that i did not like about the class was having to post twelve hours a part. The twelve hour limit made it hard to remember and post online. One way i remembered was setting reminders on my phone. But overall I really enjoyed this class as my first online class.

POst 1

      One thing that i have learned over the course of the semester is the development of friendship.The development of friendship can be broken down into a six stage model that was created by interpersonal communication researcher Bill Rawlins. The six stages include role-limited interaction, friendly relations  moving toward friendship  nascent friendship, stabilized friendship, and waning friendship. Role limited interaction refers to the stereotype you have of that person before really getting to know them. It also refers to the uncertainties we have about them. Friendly relations refers to the common ground and interests that you may have with that person. Moving toward friendship is the actions you make with that person to hang out outside of the normal routine. This would be asking that person to hang out after class or something like that. Nascent friendship is the act of sharing personal information, values, and emotions with another. Stabilized friendship refers to the stabilized state of a friendship. The final step is waning friendship  This occurs when the friendship has become betrayed and the trust of a  friendship slowly slips away.

Post 3

The most interesting thing that I read this week in chapter 12 was the family life cycle. The development of a family goes through 7 stages. The stages are as follows: establishing a family, enlarging a family, developing a family, encouraging independence, launching children, post-launching of children, and retirement. The first stage,establishing a family, is when the two partners get comfortable in their new environment  The labels of  "husband" and "wife" are accustomed and no longer considered "new". The second stage, enlarging a family is when the partners decide they are ready to have children. The third stage, developing a family is when a families children are in elementary school or high school. The fourth stage is encouraging independence. This is when the children in the family because adults are developing who they are and their interests and social circles. The fifth stage is launching children; this is when children go into college or learn hoe to live on their own. The sixth step is post launching children  This is when the children have left the home and the couple is again the primary unit. The final stage is retirement. This is when couples no longer work full time jobs.

Post 2

Marriage is something that is very influential on someones life. Dedicating your love, support and honesty to a single person is something that not many people can do. The troubles that come with marriage are with honesty and staying true. The different types of marriages include vital marriage, total marriage, passive-congenial marriage, devitalized marriage, and conflict-habituated marriage. The types of marriages that i have seen in my life include a mixture of the listed above. The marriage that my parents participate in include a total marriage. A total marriage is a relationship where the partners are not always together but are committed to staying together for the rest of their lives. There are many times where they fight, but what find of marriages don't have a few disputes. I see marriage slowly losing its value in 50 years. In today's society, people are easily falling in and out of love. I believe the divorce rate is going to increase in the next 50 years.

Post 1

I define family as a unit of people who normally form through a marriage . The family that you gain from a marriage can be extensive or small. A family can be those who are blood related but also those who may not be. Some people do not have the blessing of growing up with a supportive, or happy, family. Therefore, some people who have, in their opinion, no "family" look to role models in their life. People that support you are the people who are very valuable people in anyone's life.Families participate in your life immensely  They raise you, take care of you, feed you, support you, and help you grow into a person. The type of marriage that my parents participate in is a Total marriage. My parents are very much in love and from their marriage had me and my older brother Chris. I do not have an unsupportive family or a family that is judgmental. Family is something that is very important to me in my life.

Post 3

The one thing that i really enjoyed reading about this week were the primary style of love. The primary styles of love include those that are eros, storge, and ludus. Eros are defined as "a powerful passionate style of love that blazes to life suddenly and dramatically"(p276). Eros is a kind of love that is very intense and may include spiritual, intellectual and sexual attractions. The second type of love is storge. Storge is a "comfortable, even-keeled kind of love based on friendship and compatibility. This type tends to develop gradually and tends to remain stable. I think this is the best type of love because it is such a stable type of love. The last type of love is ludus. Ludus is a very playful type of love. This type of love is full of challenges and games for lovers. From these three "primary" style of love there are also secondary styles which include oragma, mania, and agape.

Post 2

Relationships are something that I have never had an easy time with. I am a very closed person and i really do not like telling other people my problems. The relationship that i have been in there has been commitment but not so much love. This happened a couple years ago where me and this really good friend started to hang out a lot and we would always talk. I would tell him everything and he would too. I had a feeling that he was being a little bit less open with me than i was being with him. Sometimes i had the feeling that he would tell other people more personal things than he would tell me, but i never made a big deal out of it because we weren't in an established relationship. We did know that we liked each other but because we were in an established relationship i felt like i had no room to get jealous. Although the commitment was there, i couldn't establish love with this other person. The impact of this on my relationship just makes me more cautious about the people i open up to. It made me realize how much security  is important to my in a relationship.

post 1

I believe that it is really easy for people to misrepresent themselves online. It is very easy for people to write down a very attractive description of themselves in an online profile and for people to believe it. The problem with online dating profile is there is no truth behind it. There is no one to tell you if that person is telling the truth or if they are lying. I believe that it is very unethical for people to misrepresent themselves online. How would you like it if you were very interested in someone online only to find out that everything you know about that person is a lie. I believe that if you are interested in finding love you should tell the truth about who you are and what you like. If you do not tell people the truth there is no way you are going to find someone who likes you for who you actually are.

The Development of Friendship

The topic that i thought i would discuss this week in detail was the development of friendship. The development of friendship can be broken down into a six stage model that was created by interpersonal communication researcher Bill Rawlins. The six stages include role-limited interaction, friendly relations  moving toward friendship  nascent friendship, stabilized friendship, and waning friendship. Role limited interaction refers to the stereotype you have of that person before really getting to know them. It also refers to the uncertainties we have about them. Friendly relations refers to the common ground and interests that you may have with that person. Moving toward friendship is the actions you make with that person to hang out outside of the normal routine. This would be asking that person to hang out after class or something like that. Nascent friendship is the act of sharing personal information, values, and emotions with another. Stabilized friendship refers to the stabilized state of a friendship. The final step is waning friendship  This occurs when the friendship has become betrayed and the trust of a  friendship slowly slips away.

Investments

Throughout with my friendship with my best friend Alex we have made many investments in our friendship. Alex and i have been best friends for about four years now and I think its because of how well we communicate. While first meeting Alex she was very open about how we had another common relationship with another friend. We built our friendship from this friend and ever since then its been a roller-coaster ride. We have built trust through a couple of incidents. For example, one night I felt like she was really out of place on how she was treating me so i left the event we were at. I told her that i was upset with her and i would speak to her later. We then discussed things that i was upset with, and in return the things she was upset with. This form of communication has been so helpful throughout our friendship. The fact that we are able to sit down and openly discuss our problems is something that a lot of friendships do not have. We both also support each other very well. I love my best friend, and i hope we remain friends for a very long time.

Post 1 Friendship

Friendships are voluntary. The issues brought up on the friendship page include were very troublesome to figure out. The advice forums were flooded with spam and unrelated posts. There was no issues on the friendship page for me to really analyze. If I were to post in the advice forum tho, I would discuss a problems of trust. The nature of friendship that is discussed throughout the chapter discusses how friendship is an emotional, trustworthy, and supportive relationship that you have with another that is at your own will. By becoming a friend to another you are accepting that persons emotional problems, making an effort to hang out with that person, as well as allowing yourself to be ready available for that person. The trust you build with friends are built through many experiences and how we respond to certain situations.The most important and vital part of a friendship is how you communicate with the other individual. I hope the friendship website improves to where there will be less spam so it can be useful to those we really need advice.

Post 3

One topic that i found really interesting to read about this week was the guidelines for creating and sustaining confirming climates. There are five guidelines for building and sustaining healthy climates. The first guideline is actively use communication to build confirming climates. This means to enhance your communication with others by accepting and growing from the tension generated by relational dialects. The second guideline for sustaining confirming climates is to accept and confirm others. This means for a relationship to work others must acknowledge others and accept the validity of their needs and preferences.  The third guideline for sustaining confirming climates is to affirm and assert yourself. Wood puts it perfectly as he explains that, "you are no less valuable  your needs are no less important and your preferences are no  less valid than those of  others" (210). Affirm and assert yourself to others styles of communication. The fourth guideline is respect diversity in relationships.  People must respect this because everyone is diverse, and we must respect the differences in others. The final guideline is respond constructively to criticism. This is a very crucial point in communication because sometimes others just want to give their opinion and that is something that we should respect and not look down upon. Instead feel open minded about their criticism and move forward.

Confirmed

After reading Gibbs Defensiveness-producing communication behaviors, I learned that they are many ways to make a decsion and many factors that affect our decsion making skills. When I am faced with a really hard decision i tend to way the weight of the positives and negatives. In an argument I tend to do the same things.  One argument i had was one with a really good friend of mine actually. I was upset that I had not seen her the whole summer and it was very frustrating. ONe of the six behaviors that I believe that i can realate to would be  control/problem oriented because I was trying to control the friendship but was not viewing the busy work schedule of my friend.
After reading chapter eight I also learned that they are three steps that go into either confirming or disconfirming an argument. Those three steps include first recognition, which is basically respecting the other persons point of view. The second is acknowledgement which is confirm with them my personal opinons and disagreement. The final one is endorsement which includes why I believe the things I do.

Post 1

When I disagree with someone, I actually have a really hard time confirming my points. While reading the chapter I was able to distinguish well between recognition, acknowledgement, and endorsement. Recognition is recognizing that another person exists. Acknowledgement is acknowledgement of what another feels thinks, or says. When I disagree with someone I always make sure that I acknowledge their point of view before I go about arguing with someone. We disconfirm others when we do not do this. Endorsement involves accepting another's feelings or thoughts. When someone is disagreeing with you it is not necessarily a disconfirment. Someone is disconfirming if they are told that they are "crazy, wrong, stupid, or unimportant"(wood, 204). Confirming is recognizing, acknowledgement  and endorsing them to either do or not to do something. The example in the book gives the example of dropping acid, which was very helpful to understand the whole process of having a confirming climate. The climate that your relationships have with your friends can help them make choices in their lives.

Post 3

       The most interesting thing that I learned this week in chapter 7 was the obstacles to communicating emotions effectively. The reason we may not express emotions include many social expectations, self protection reasons, protecting others, and many social and professional roles. The social expectations of women are that more of them are willing to bear their emotions over men. Many men suppress their feelings because they have been generalized to be tough and unemotional. This leads to many men to become disconnected from their emotions and realize that society has taught them that they are not to experience many feelings. The social expectations of women and men's feelings have allowed women to express their feelings more than men. The self protection obstacle of communication discusses the need to not share information in order to protect yourself from any harm. The book discusses a chilling effect which is the act of restraining expression of our feelings in order to avoid someone more "powerful" than us. Furthermore we restrain from expressing feelings in order to protect others or ourselves. Finally, the way we express our feelings around the people we work with in our professional life is continually monitored. The way we carry ourselves in a professional environment can either credit us, or hurt us in the long run. Controlling your emotions in the work place is very important because we want to make sure they are always necessary, appropriate, and constructive.

Post 2

The fallacies that were discussed in the last portion of this chapter include perfectionism, obsession with shoulds, over generalization, taking responsibility  for others, helplessness, and fear of catastrophic failure. Perfectionism usually effects  people by causing stress, and chronic dissatisfaction with your self. Obsession with shoulds usually saps energy for construction work and sets up unrealistic standards set the self up for failure. Overgeneralization perceives one failure as typical of self. Taking responsibility for others usually effects ones self by depriving others of taking responsibility for selves. Helplessness effects the self by believing there is nothing you can do to change how you feel. The final fallacy is fear of catastrophic failure; this effects the self by the inability to do things because of what might happen. The fallacy that shows up in my interpersonal communication would have to be overgeneralization. Sometimes i tend to think when someone acts a certain way its because that's how they always are. For example, if someone were to push by me rudely I would assume that person was rude and everything that he or she did was just an example of there rudeness. When in actuality, I need to think about the circumstances of that person and why he or she is being rude.

Post 1

     Before we can understand the different perceptions of emotions we need to define emotions. Emotions are our experience and interpretation of internal sensations as they are shaped by physiological, language, and social experience. Physiological influences on emotions include how we think about emotions. For example, Organismic view of emotions is the theory that external phenomena cause physiological changes that lead us to experience emotions. Perceptual view of emotions asserts that subjective perceptions shape what external phenomena's mean to us. The way we respond to things such as shaking hands, butterflies in our stomach or a fist in the air all depend on what meaning we give that phenomena. The last perception of emotions is the social influences on emotions. When we discuss social influences we must discuss the interactive view of emotions. Interactive view of emotions proposes that social rules and understandings shape what people feel and how they do or do not express their feelings. The perspective that makes the most sense to me is physiological influences. Physiological influences allows a stimulus to be sent to your mind which allow a physiological response to trigger emotion. 

Post 3

The most interesting thing that I learned in this weeks reading was learning about the listening process. The listening process is complex because it describes how one rely's on their "mind ears and hearts" (Wood, P.144). There are six steps to the listening process. The first step to the listening process is being mindful. Mindfulness is being fully present in the moment. The next step in the listening process is physically receiving  messages. This means making sense of the messages people are physically trying to tell you while they are talking. The third step is selecting and organizing material. The forth step is interpreting communication. The fifth step is responding and the last step is remembering. All of these steps are crucial in listening to someone speak. The listening process allows us to remember important dates in our process and also important information people tell us. Without the six steps above, i believe you couldn't be a good listener.

Post 2

After reading Listening is a 10 part skill by Ralph Nichols i learned that the most important question to ask yourself while listening to someone is speaking is, what information can I use after listening to this person speak. The ten parts that Nichols discusses include the following: find an interest, judge content not delivery, hold your fire, listen for ideas,be flexible, work at listening, resit distractions, exercise your mind, keep your mind open, and capital speed. When finding an interest make sure you make a connection inside your personal thought of how this information will help in the future. When people are talking, do not emphasis how they speak. Think about the content their are discussing to the audience rather than the physical or verbal way one might speak. Hold your fire by not attempting to interfere someone while they are talking. Listen to the speaker for ideas and new ideas. Be flexible by taking various types of notes you take in class. Work on listening to your speaker by resisting distractions around the room. Exercise your mind, keep and open mind, and capital speed all discuss the subject of staying active in class and not disclosing any information that you think may not be important.

Post 1

The six forms of nonlistening include pseudo listening, monopolizing, selective listening, defensive listening, ambushing and literal listening. Psedolistening is one a person is pretending to listen. I find myself doing this a lot when i am in a class i do not enjoy. For example when i took introduction to hospitality. The lecture was so straight forward that it was easy for me to venture off and think of other things besides the lecture. Monopolizing is when someone is continuously shifting the conversation on themselves rather then listening to the other person. Selective listening is when you focus on some parts of the conversation. Defensive listening is when someone views something you said as an attack on them. Ambushing is listening carefully for the purpose of attacking a speaker. This is something that I try never to do. The last one literal listening is when someone is listening only for content and ignoring the relationship level of meaning. The method of nonlistening that i need to get over is psedolistening during class. I can get over this by actively taking notes, and participating in class.

Post 3

This week the most interesting thing that I learned was our ability to accept certain guidelines in our everyday in language. These guidelines that we accept are known as communication rules. Communication rules  are our "shared understandings of communication means and what kind of communication are appropriate in particular situation" (Wood, 95). These understandings include how to answer a telephone politely, how to interact with others in a library, and also how to politely listen to others points in a conversation without interrupting them. In the library you would not talk in your normal tone of voice, you would speak softer and quieter because you know the library is a very quiet place where people read and do homework. With these communication rules come two other types of rules as well, these include the following: regulative rules, and constitutional rules. Regulatory rules tell us where when and and with whom to talk about certain things. Constitutive rules specify how to interpret and perform different kinds of communication.

Post 2.

      After reading the hate speech website i learned that hate speech is " racist and anti-Semitic speech [and has] always been recognized as First Amendment-protected. " Hate speech is when one person talks down about another person due to a race, gender, color, sexual orientation, and any other characteristic. Hate speech can be can be engaged anytime, and any place. It only takes one sly comment to allow hate speech to occur in your daily life. I do believe that hate speech should be censored because it instigates violence. Everyone is always talking about keeping the world a better and safer place. With hate speech openly displayed  I believe there would be more violence around the world. By censoring hate speech you are limiting someones first amendment slightly to protect the views and beliefs of others.There are so many social media websites available to the public through which people can say hurtful tings to others.

Ch 4, Post 1

     I do not think that the American society should be referred to as a melting pot. The reverend Jesse Jackson refers to the United States as both a rainbow and a family quilt and i believe that his metaphor fit very well. The metaphor that I think works best for the American economy is a bowl of jelly beans. All of the jelly beans have a distinct flavor and color that make them so good all together in a bowl. Although each jelly bean is different each is important to try and experiences just like the many cultural values and practices of each race in America. Every person who lives in the United States should celebrate their own individuality and celebrate what makes them unique. With so many diverse people in the  United States speech communities, many people will learn how to communicate with those who may not be of the same race as them. I believe this is important to develop a new understanding of the sense of community.

3.

One subject that i thought was really interesting to read about this was the reading on sexual orientation. Sexually Orientation is a way to categorize people by who they are social attracted to. In many social perspectives the idea of a man and women relationship is very ideal and traditional. This type of relationship is religiously accepted where as a man-man relationship may not be. The idea of a same sex relationship is not ideal for everyone, but it is socially accepted in some places. The same sex marriage is not supported enough in most of the world, to have it legalized. There are places in California that socially accept the same sex relationship. One place that is really known for equality of the same sex marriage is the Castro district in San Francisco. The Castro district is a district in San Francisco where  you can openly see a same sex relationship out in the open. I honestly can say that i support love, and if it happens to be with a person who is of the same gender of you, than so be it. No one should be denied happiness or love in a relationship.

2.

      The book describes race as a primary aspect of personal identity. Race is also used to categorize people in society. In American history it has always been a white predominate country, and it is because of this that we have such racial gap in our society. Many white folk had better access to better schools that those of color. I do believe that many people use race to classify many different peopl in todays society. The reason for this is because of how different everybody looks visually. I believe that race is a very important thing in todays society because not only does it remind America of its past, but i believe that it brings a melting pot of people into the country. The Census Bureau should allow people to check multiple races to define themselves because i believe today, there are a lot of people that are more than one race.

1.

     So this week I talked to my Aunt Martha who is in her early forties. While discussing her time in her twenties, many funny stories came up about my mom and her getting into all of this trouble. She explained to me that when she was twenty she was expected to have a job, come home to her parents house and be respectful and courteous. She was to make sure her room was tidy, her shoes were never left in the living room and also she was very clear that her father was very strict on clothing. If my grandpa saw my aunt or my mom come out of their room in "short shorts" he would tell them to turn around and put more clothes on. Some of her goals were to move out of her parents house, get a good paying job, and get married. She got married at a young age to a man she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with, but ultimately things did not work out as she was expecting. Her ex husband and her had 2 boys and a boy who are now e 17, 12, and 10 years of age. She now works two jobs as a gym instructor and is happy with her life.
     The second person I talked to this week was my Uncle Rich, who is in his early sixties. Uncle Rich is related to me on my moms side as well. He is the husband of my eldest Aunt Mandy. Uncle Rich explained to me that when he was in his twenties the war was the key thing that was talked about. Everyone was hung up on the idea of nationalism and the cold war. The goals he held for himself were to enroll in school and be a full time student. He attended the University of Southern California and graduated. I find him to be one of the most intelligent men i know. He depicted amazing stories of the Cold war on T.V and the news casts that followed. Attitudes were very nationalistic, if you weren't "Pro America" you were seen as the enemy.
    Things that i noticed that were different between my aunt and uncles stories is that in seems like when my aunt was 20 there was no force of war upon her, where as for my uncle times were a lot different. My aunt had mentioned the Cold war, but she was not as focused on it as much as it was in the 50's.  I find that while the generations grew older the thing that changed them was the Peace movement. This was a time of free spirited people and the introduction of many narcotics. The idea of peace from war spread like rapid fire and soon after that the 70-80s allowed the introduction of new music as well.

Week 1, post 3

     One thing that I thought was really interesting in this week's reading was the idea of meta-communication. For those of you who are unaware of what this is, meta-communication is a special form of communication in which one processes more communication and how verbal tones are taken. For example, while speaking with of your friends you realize how she is talking is hinting that she is about to cry so you ask, " Are you okay? You seem very depressed". By  listening to the verbal tones in a person's voice, you are able to analyze a form of communication that is verbal. Meta-communication can be nonverbal and verbal. Non verbal communication includes much of the body language that one uses while talking. For example many people often use their hands to give directions,emphasizing on key locations to make certain left and right turns. I think non verbal communication s more often in today's society. I often can tell by someones body language if they are stressed, sad happy etc.

Week 1, Posting 2

     One person that has become closer to me in my life is my best friend Alexandria or "Alex". I met Alex my junior year of high school and throughout that year and the years leading up to the present, we have been best friends. Alex is someone who has always been very protective of the people in her life and i value how much our relationship has grown throughout the years. The relationship  I have with her started an unexpected night at our church youth group. Alex was a friend of one the girls that attended youth group Rachel. Knowing Rachel, she attended more and more youth groups and I got to know Alex very well.
   The type of communication i use with Alex is  I-You communication. In the beginning of our relationship topics we discussed included who we both knew mutually. I discovered that she was actually dating a guy that went to my school. Through several conversations are topics progressed to things we like to do, sports we played, family we have, etc. There was nothing that we couldn't talk about.
 

Week 1: Linear and Interactive Models

     Linear models portray communication in one direction. This type of model consists of a sender transmitting a message to another. A good example of this is a teacher lecturing a classroom. With one person giving out information and the students processing it and taking notes. Another example of a linear model of communication is writing a letter.

      An interactive model of communication shows interactions from both parties. For example, if you were in a classroom where a teacher is teaching you have the ability to give feedback for further clarification. This dialogue between both parties is a interactive model of communication because it is not just a solo party looking for information.  The book states "The more communicators' fields of experience that overlap, the better they can understand each other". In other words, the more dialogue or information sent from one source to another the more feedback is able to be given. An example of an interactive model of communication would be an instant message chat between two parties. One is sending the message to Party A, while Party B receives and then responds to Party A.

   Both linear model and a interactive models of communication both require a first party to give information. In contrast, linear model only send information while a interactive model sends and receives information.

8.23.12

     Hey whats up guys I'm Lauren and I am a third year here at San Jose State. My major is Hospitality and Event Management and i hope to plan huge conventions and events in the near future. My favorite color is purple and favorite number is 2.  I was born and raised in San Francisco. I really enjoy many things in my life especially my friends and family. I have one older brother whose 22, my parents, and four dogs. These dogs are not any big dogs either; I'm talking small white yappy little dogs who love to jump all over the place. Here's a picture of one of one of them 

This is Rascal.

As much as they bark and jump all over the place i still end up missing them during the school year. Haha

     I love watching Will Ferrell movies. BEST MOVIES EVER. If you and I can quote step brothers together, well probably get along perfectly. I am a very sarcastic outgoing and happy person. Not to mention that I am always around to give a helping hand. Along with watching movies i enjoy going out with my friends and enjoying life. I have very high goals for myself,  and on that list Graduation from San Jose State. I don't want to write too much so I guess I'll stop it here. Hope you guys have an amazing day. 

:)

-Lauren Sanford